Monday, June 25, 2007

The Iliad

The Iliad by Homer, translated by Robert Fagles

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Part of that was because I've read The Odyssey before -- probably this was a better experience because I'm older now and the translation was most likely better. It still felt quite long in the middle, but at the beginning and end things were actually happening, and it was good to read a first-hand account of some of the mythology I've heard of.

Now I just wish I had a class to discuss it with. Melanie, will you at least discuss it with me? The part of the worldview that bothered me the most was the concept of fate. Not fate in and of itself, I suppose, but the way people would absolve themselves of responsibility because of fate. Or, perhaps more often, because some god caused them to act in a certain way. Sometimes you just wish Helen would quit whining about how it'd be better if she'd died before this had happened and commit suicide, you know? The "overweening" regard for one's own glory (Achilles especially, of course) was pretty disgusting, too. At least that desire could conceivably motivate people to noble deeds. Most of the time it didn't.

At least, as opposed to most modernistic/post-modernistic worldviews, it did a good job of explaining the universe and was internally consistent. Just not moral. And the gods were an active part of the world, although the nature of those gods left quite a lot to be desired!

Those are my initial thoughts. Comments?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Receiving the Day: Christian Practices for Opening the Gift of Time by Dorothy C. Bass

“Busy people may think that what we need is a few more open boxes on the pages of our datebooks. But in fact that would provide only a flat and short-lived remedy, and not only because those boxes would soon fill up like all the others. What we really need is time of a different quality. We need the kind of time that is measured in a yearly round of feasts and fasts, in a life span that begins when a newborn is placed in her parents’ arms, and in a day that ends and begins anew as a line of darkness creeps across the edge of the earth. This kind of time exists, but we have learned not to notice it.”

This is the third book I bought for myself at work, as opposed to buying gifts for others; and the last, at the moment. It’s the first I finished reading, though. From the time I roomed with Joi and Rachel until now, I have been drawn slowly and steadily to a more… liturgical way of life. I’ve wanted to know more about the church calendar, in particular. Recently at work I’ve enjoyed my time in the Christianity section, in part because it’s the first time I’ve spent much time in a section with Catholic and Protestant books all together. It’s been, at the very least, interesting. This book is actually written by a Protestant, and I think it does quite a decent job of explaining the draw of certain traditions to my more suspicious brethren. And it did a good job of drawing me in even farther, quite to my satisfaction!

It’s a beautiful little book. Not as beautiful as a few I’ve read, but peaceful. I enjoyed mulling over this one in many small sections. It’s not a hard read, that’s just how I happened to read it.

After an initial chapter about time in general as a gift of God rather than an enemy we must attempt to manage, the book talks about three practices for receiving the gift of time. Each practice covers two chapters: one on the practice itself, and one on the obstacles and ideas for implementing it. The first practice is receiving the day, the second is keeping the Sabbath, and the third is living through the church year.

Receiving the day is mostly done through morning and evening prayer. She talks about the history of time and the clock, and that “clock” actually comes from clocca, bells. She says the Benedictine monks were committed to set hours of prayer and needed a way to call the community together – thus the bells.

Hours used to be divided by sunlight. Twelve every day, winter or summer, so summer hours are longer. I like that way of doing it. I’ve started paying attention to sunrise and sunset and tried to align my morning and evening prayer somewhat with them – not just because it’s an even older tradition than the Benedictine way, but because in today’s society it’s nice to be reminded of what nature’s doing! It’s easy for me to forget. And part of receiving the day is receiving the un-man-made parts of it, the rising and setting of the sun each day, no matter what is happening in “my” world. Noon, then, is halfway between sunrise and sunset, or about 12:50 right now. The third hour is halfway between sunrise and noon (or about 9:20), and the ninth hour is halfway between noon and sunset (or about 4:20).

These hours of prayer are alluded to in various places in the Bible – I thought I read about that in this book, but now I can’t find it for the life of me, so perhaps not. But at any rate, Peter had his vision of unclean animals when he was praying, about the sixth hour. Cornelius was praying and had his about the ninth hour. Jesus was crucified about the third hour and died at about the ninth. The Bible says there was darkness from the sixth to the ninth hour. In Acts 3:1 the ninth hour is called “the hour of prayer.” Obviously part of the reason these hours were mentioned so often in the Bible is because they were the most convenient reference points for time during the day. They didn’t have clocks (duh). Still, it seems that their convenience as reference points may have also made them convenient for regular times of prayer. I’ve certainly heard that was the case later on, and that those were the hours announced by the town crier. They’ve also become times of symbolism through the accumulated history (two noonday prayers from The Book of Common Prayer begin, “Blessed Savior, at this hour you hung upon the cross…” and “Almighty Savior, who at noonday called your servant Saint Paul to be an apostle to the Gentiles…”)

Anyway, did I have a point…? Um. Since it’s easy to pray in the morning and then forget about God, the third, sixth, and ninth hours are convenient for reorienting myself. I’ve made a concession to the man-made world and set my palm pilot to announce the hours. (= I don’t spend much time praying at all – I do work every day after all, just like the rest of you! But I’ve found that, even so, I can often read through the noon service in The Book of Common Prayer. It’s a Psalm, the Lord’s Prayer, a couple other things. Not much, just enough to remind me once again. Morning and evening prayers are more important to me, but the third, sixth, and ninth hours are nice too. They’re not talked about much in this book, but this review is not actually just about this book, but on all my current thoughts on regularity and spirituality! Apparently. Thus the length. So on that note, our culture is so eager to point out that we can pray anywhere, at any time. Yes, quite true. But you’re much more likely to do so if you also have regular times and places dedicated to it! And, as I’ve mentioned before, it’s FlyLady that’s helped me with that habit. That, and God telling me to one day… that’s another story (and one hard to tell)…

“Where did you meet God today? The length of a day—a turn from darkness to light and back again—fits our human capacity for taking stock, our ability to be in the present but also to take a larger, more reflective view of things.”

“The day in question, we should note, is not just any day, or the twenty-four-hour span in the abstract. It is this day. Now. Too often, this is the very one that escapes our attention, the day whose gifts we scorn. The bitter aftertaste of yesterday, often a yesterday long since forgotten by everyone else, keeps us from tasting the day that is now on our tongue; I dwell in my failure or another’s slight. And anxiety about tomorrow, even a tomorrow that may not come for years, gnaws away at the experience of today, not just once but hundreds of times.”

“‘Who can really be faithful in great things, if they have not learned to be faithful in the things of daily life?’” – quoted from Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together

Then there’s keeping the Sabbath, the subject of the fourth and fifth chapters. As I write this I am happily observing the Sabbath, although it’s Saturday, the real Sabbath, not Sunday, the traditional day of rest Christians have taken. I like writing about books. It’s good giving myself time to do so. I tried Sunday last week, but I was so tired on Saturday I basically rested both days, which seemed sub-optimal. Although I have much less time On Sunday than on Saturday for work, I think I still might be more productive saving work for Sunday. And besides, the progression fits so well – day of discipline and sacrifice, day of rest, day of celebration! It also may be closer to what the very early church did. I think that as Jewish Christians they observed the Sabbath on Saturday, and then gathered to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection on Sunday, although they also worked that day. As Dorothy Bass points out, Sunday is then sacred time in ordinary time, making for some nice symbolism. It’s sort of an eighth/first day.

She talks about it as the only one of the Ten Commandments that we often boast about planning to break (as in, “That’s not busy. Why, I have to…”). She often talks, not in legalistic terms, but in terms of simply resisting the world’s time patterns (or lack thereof). Referencing Deuteronomy’s reminder to keep the Sabbath because “you were a slave in the land of Egypt,” she talks about Sabbath as a day of freedom.

“Slaves cannot skip a day of work, but free people can. Not all free people choose to do so, however; some of us remain glued to our computers and washing machines every day of the week. To keep sabbath is to exercise one’s freedom, to declare oneself to be neither a tool to be employed—an employee—nor a beast to be burdened. To keep sabbath is also to remember one’s freedom and to recall the One from whom that freedom came, the One from whom it still comes.”

She then goes on to talk about the Jewish, and then the Christian, concepts of Sabbath. “In the broad consensus of the tradition, what should not be done is ‘work.’ Defining exactly what that means is a long and continuing argument, but one classic answer is that work is whatever changes the natural, material world. All week long, human beings wrestle with the created world, tilling and hammering and carrying and burning. On the sabbath, however, Jews let it be. They celebrate it as it is and live in it in peace and gratitude. Humans are created too, after all. It is right and good to remember that it is not human effort alone that grows grain and forges steel.

By extension, all activities associated with work or commerce are also prohibited. You are not even supposed to think about them.”

“In an authentically Christian form of sabbath-keeping, we can sing both the hymn of creation’s goodness and the freedom songs of Miriam and Moses. But to these songs we add a third: Alleluia! Christ is risen! And ordinarily, we do our singing not on the seventh day of the week but on the first, the day when the followers of Jesus first experienced the presence of the risen Christ. This is our day of new creation and the day on which we are delivered from enslavement to death in all its forms.”

“Contemporary culture militates against this, however, both by insinuating that worship is not a very efficient use of time and by importing habits of clock bondage into a gathering where the clock has no place. What is in the deepest sense a festival, a spring of souls, a time of freedom not only from work but also from condemnation becomes instead one more carefully measured appointment.”

And then there’s the church year. At its heart is Easter, and through the cycle of feasts and fasts we learn that sorrow is here for the night, but joy comes in the morning. The year begins and ends again with Advent, waiting for the Savior who was born and who will come again at the end of time. Although she talks about this less, even the seasons of the “earthly” calendar can be vehicles of God’s grace – right now my anniversary comes to mind, as John and I will be celebrating it soon. Every year, every summer, it will come again and remind us to celebrate each other and our marriage. I look outside and see the lavender trees blooming and ducklings swimming in our apartment complex’ pool, and I am glad. Thanks be to God, it is not always winter and never Christmas, as in Narnia at one time. Nor is it always Christmas and never winter, as Dorothy Bass points out Disney World resembles. (And Disneyland, I assume, although I will always maintain that the seasons of Southern California are obvious to a native, especially if you look beyond the irrigated lawns.)

She has more to say about the church year, but I think I’ve said enough. She concludes with a general chapter about lifespans, about “counting our days.”

Eragon again...

...because Melanie wrote a review of it. Good and thoughtful description.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Peace by the grace of God (FlyLady post part 2)

Right off, I can think of two big struggles/pains in my life until now. One was the issue of fitting in and feeling normal, like I belong somewhere and am not cut off from the rest of the human race, unable to understand or be understood. Another was feeling that if I don't do certain things, I'm not a good person.


For some reason feeling normal in society isn't just tied to simple externals of dress and manners that society can see, but to the "normal" parts of home life hidden from everyone, cleaning and organizing. I can tell from FlyLady that there are a lot of people who have problems with those things, but it still feels like abnormality. In college it became more painful, because my friends seemed to know how to go about life – for example, they were used to good meals and so cafĂ© food sucked (I thought it was great, most of the time!). They missed their parents and the pleasures of home, although they were glad to be given the chance to be free of their parents' rules (what rules?). Going off to college wasn't hard for me because of homesickness, it was hard because I knew, living in the dorm, my "abnormality" would be so exposed to any roommate, and because I didn't feel grown-up enough yet – just in a different way than my friends didn't. They had the tools they needed to become grown-up, rather than having had to pretend to be grown-up since junior high (or at least that's how it felt -- I know many people are good actors and had plenty to deal with, too). FlyLady is great because it's helped me to learn those "normal" things in a non-pain laden way. She really is like a mom!


But the normal thing isn't the most important part. Somehow, in spite of Mom's actions, she managed to pass on to me through her words this idea that if you don't manage to do all your tasks, if you don't keep your house clean and reply to letters and do your homework on time etc., you are intrinsically a bad person. In recent years I've recognized that she taught me that and that it's completely unbiblical – yes, we are bad people saved by Jesus' blood, but it's not because of not keeping our houses clean, it's because of failing to love God and others, the other things are just tools to help you love (c’mon, Jesus died primarily to pay for our lack of discipline, in and of itself?!) – but my emotions about it are pretty entrenched. I try and try and try to be good enough and I never am. I always fail. No matter what I know, that can be quite a struggle for the self-esteem to deal with! I mean, the same is true of trying to love. Humanly speaking, we always fail. But always failing at the things Mom thought were important feels worse in some ways, I guess because it seems like there are plenty of people managing those things with no problem. So what am I, worse than other humans? I always felt that if I could just change one thing (insert name here), it would make everything better. I have to have hope because otherwise I'll die of the pain. And then it fails, and I feel like I am going to die. So I grab onto something else to give me hope. (I'd try to have hope in God, but since He never changes, it was hard to trust that He would suddenly stop the cycle.)


I think I love FlyLady so much because I think somehow she's managed to break the power of that cycle so simply and quietly. (And I thank God for her, all the time. She's done it, but to me, that means that God has chosen to use her to do it. Thank You, so much, Lord!) With her, this organization of my life is suddenly easy! And if I fail one day, it doesn't threaten my whole system. Instead of hearing Mom's voice which can only ask me why I failed, I hear FlyLady telling me it's ok, she's proud of me, and not to let my perfectionism stand in my way! You'd think I'd be bitter about it – all this time this thing I've been struggling with is easy, and no one told me?! – but I'm not. Instead, it's more like, “Ha! It's ridiculous to think that not doing this stuff would make me a bad person, because it's so easy!” The problem the whole time wasn't that I wasn't good enough, it was just that I never had a mom to teach me! Cool! And it helps my attitude towards Mom a little bit because it's one more way that I can see something can be incredibly easy and yet incredibly hard. Even now there are struggles and things that are hard, but... it's easy. The whole quality of it has changed, I guess. It's hard to describe. I'm just happy.