It Rained Tonight, Hallelujah!

This weekend was very stressful in a couple ways. Saturday I found out I'll be losing my job at the end of the month. I've known it'd happen at some point, but it's still not the easiest thing ever. Good news for the bookstore lovers, though - it's not closing, at least not yet - just reducing store hours and cutting all payroll. So you can still shop there. Please do, in fact, or it might well go out of business despite the belt tightening.

Then the other stressful thing happened yesterday - my car broke down. Not real near my house, either. Well, not super far. But still, why is it that my alternator issues always make themselves known on the long car trips?  Okay, so this time there were a couple signs earlier that could have warned me if I'd been paying attention. Still, it's annoying. Just once, I'd like my battery to die a block from my house. Or a block from Fred's Automotive. Ah, well. No car troubles at all would be preferable, while I'm wishing… 

So now the two cars I've owned in my life have both broken alternators. With very different symptoms, though. I prefer the newer car symptoms. The old Volkswagen needed the car to start before the gas guage would go up and show you how much gas you had, so when the alternator broke I thought I'd run out of gas, much to the inconvenience of some people who tried to help me rectify the problem. Gaah.

Anyway, this time my car was obviously having problems by the time I made it to the wedding (my destination), so I asked my dad to take a look at it before I left, and after charging up my battery he followed me home, then helped me get it towed when it died and gave me a ride. So it could have been much worse.

But at any rate, I didn't mean to talk so much about the stresses. I almost just mentioned that they existed and moved on to the point of the post (But then I had to explain. It's What I Do.), which was the bright spots in the midst of this weekend. Chief among these would be my cousin Keith's wedding. His new wife, Lindsay, is so cute!  Such an expressive face. And I got to sit next to Dr. John Mark Reynolds at the reception, which was another bright spot. And it turns out that a dying car can lead to more Quality Time with your little sister, so that was good. It lead to a couple noteworthy quotes, even. Well, the first one happened at the wedding reception. Something like (feel free to correct this, Melanie): “I just accidentally said, 'I think I was the Holy Spirit.'” Then there's the one I said in the car later (yes, I'm self-quoting - it amused me and I want to share it and I'm willing to admit those facts!), which I'm having more trouble remembering exactly, although I remember the concept. Something like, “Very important, you do NOT want to see an un-pedded xing, believe me. Those xings really like to be pedded.”

At first those were the only bright spots I was going to mention, but then it RAINED!  Even though the hills have grown yellow already!  And that might be the best of all (no offense, Melanie), although… no, remembering Lindsay's face, I guess not. And my bread's out of the breadmaker and tastes so lovely, and I made waffles Friday night and the almond milk substitution worked great so I could eat them without upsetting my allergies, and there are still strawberries in the fridge. Life is good.

Sundays

Let's blog about something other than books, shall we?  Okay then.

There's a clear danger to sleeping in the car before church (as one might do if one's husband has to get to church early to set up and run sound). The marks on your face from the closest pillow to hand (a sweater) might still be there when church begins. Beware.

I dreamed this morning that I was singing in the worship band in church, but that I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was having trouble holding my eyes open before I went up to sing, but I figured I'd manage once I was standing on stage. There were other elements to the dream besides that, but that's the one that sticks out in my mind now. I mean, I've had those dreams where you need to go to the bathroom. Those are kind of normal, make sense. But dreaming that you're tired? Come on subconscious, I'm trying to work on it. Shut up and let me get some rest, okay?

Church is one of those things where you don't always want to go, maybe you often don't, especially when you're tired, but you (or I, I guess...) are often glad you (or I) did. Community is so, so good. Even for us introverts. Probably especially for us introverts.

Our pastor said something today (in passing, it wasn't really a main point) about how common it is for people to doubt their salvation. I seem to differ from him in that I think it can be a healthy doubt. The Bible tells us to test our faith, 2 Cor. 13:5, "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!" But the words he used reminded me of some things I have thought through before. Sometimes it seems like the more I study the Bible the less sure I am of myself. Back in my senior year at Biola I learned that the Greek word normally translated as "trust" or maybe "belief" in the book of John means something more like "entrust yourself to." We are to entrust ourselves to Christ, faith and action encapsulated in one word. I often don't live like someone entrusting herself to Jesus. But I've come to the conclusion that all I can do is cry out to God, "I do believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)  What else can I do?  What other choice do I have? "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)