Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Ribs and Sleep and My Heart

Went to physical therapy Monday. I mentioned to my therapist that I was trying to pay more attention to exactly which ribs hurt, which were painful to the touch, as it can be hard to tell without investigating -- sometimes I can even press in one place and the pain response is somewhere else. And I think maybe when I have a really bad Episode there could be multiple ribs involved.

She said that yes, right then my two upper ribs and three lower ribs on the right side were all involved -- out/frozen/seized up, whatever.

The, um, "best" part? Even at my worst on Monday, it wasn't all that bad. Maybe medium bad, certainly not an Episode. With almost half my ribs on one side out. So... yeah. Certainly seems possible that it could be ALL OF THEM when I have a Rib Episode, and/or they're farther out. Fits with the way the pain moves around when it's Bad according to the different positions I try.

EDS problems.*

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Sadness. And Mothers.

Trigger warning: Sadness. And mothers. Clearly.

I learned this summer, three weeks ago, that my mother is now in late-stage Alzheimer's, and has probably about twelve months to live.

Womp womp.

I learned other things this summer too, things I want to share with you, but I couldn't put this one in the same post as all the bright and happy things. I just couldn't. They can exist on the same blog, and in the same heart, but not in the same post, not today. (Link to the bright and happy things forthcoming, if you'd like to read them. Watch this space. If you don't see a link on Facebook or wherever when that goes live.)

(Also there are other wonderful, funny, cheery, and deep posts over at the linkup on Emily Freeman's blog, here! And there's still some time to join in, if you want!)

Monday, March 14, 2016

A Time to Dance

A Time to Dance by Padma Venkatraman
Read: 10/17/15-10/24/15
This review mostly written on: 2/17/16

Beautiful, moving book in verse, a YA novel about a girl in India. For those looking for diverse books to read, this one fits the bill in multiple ways. I'm not going to tell you about one of the most important ways, however, as it's a little bit of a spoiler. The majority of the book is about it, but if you want to read those first 30 pages without knowing... Also, if you don't want that spoiler, be very careful to avoid the cover blurb, and don't read any of the Library of Congress classifications on the copyright page.

Or other reviews. Though many of them are better and more in-depth than mine, they do almost all have The Spoiler, so be warned.

I will say that I haven't read many books from a Hindu perspective, and I found it fascinating. I'd like to read more, as it's, um. Kind of a huge thing in our world.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Release Day for Not Alone

Do any of you remember when I said I have a thing, and it's getting published?! Today's the day, today's the day, guys, it's RELEASE DAY!! SQUEEEEEE!!

I've said some things about it in the past, but I shall gather them together here now, for accessibility. Here you go.

From last year, "I Have a Thing!":

"My 'thing' is a personal essay. It will be included in a collection about infertility and miscarriage, from Kalos Press. Mine is about miscarriage.

"'This isn’t a book that offers solutions – there are plenty of experts for that. Nor is this a book that expounds theological explanations for pain and loss – that necessary job is already well done elsewhere.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Readathon Today

I've had a baby. Plus the book with my miscarriage essay is coming out on December 1st. But this isn't about those things. Not yet. Today, I'm writing because today is Dewey's 24-Hour Readathon, and as there aren't any minimum requirements for participation, I've decided to do it.

I'm not having someone watch my kids, and I'm not going to stay up crazy late reading, nothing like that. But I've been doing a lot of chilling and relaxing as I'm still not quite three weeks postpartum, I get tired easily, and resting continues to be a good thing for healing; so I'm just going to shift other free time activities over to reading. Reading while nursing, on its own, should net me a good chunk of time. Of course there will be interruptions, so I'm using Toggl to track my time, rather than attempting to read for whole hour increments and tracking those.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A Day (and Nights) in the Life of a Cholestasis Patient (and Stay-at-Home-Mom)

If you're like, "Whaa? Chola-who?" there's this other post that I wrote. It's long, but the basics are at the beginning. And links to infographics and stuff.

I apologize for the length, for once again going on and on. You'd think a person couldn't write this much about one rather uneventful day. You'd think. If you don't want to hear lots of little details about my life and brain space at the moment, this isn't the post for you.

Most who know seem to say there is no "typical" ICP (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy) case or patient. Certain things are more statistically likely, sure, but... well, there's a lot of variation in several ways. On top of that, this isn't necessarily a typical day. It is... a day. Take that for what it's worth.


Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

Six weeks of Cholestasis down, maybe two to go

Took Benadryl last night, so actually got some good sleep. (For the sleeping pill factor, not the itching factor. My itching is caused by bile acids, not histamines.) Woke up once around 3 or something and felt very awake, was frustrated that this was even with Benadryl, but then... apparently fell asleep again. Yay! Woke up again around 7:30, then on and off back to sleep. Ribs hurting, but some sleep. Think I actually rolled over and checked my phone and Facebook notifications around 9:30. Thanks, John!

Friday, August 21, 2015

High-Risk Pregnancy and Feeeelings

Well, it's back. Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy, ICP. (In the past I've generally called it Cholestasis, which seems clearer than using an abbreviation, but... ICP is shorter to type.) As of a few weeks ago, the night of July 28th.

No, I haven't been back to the hospital yet. This is from my induction with Gracie. It just seemed... fitting.

Sorry, this is going to be long. Very. This should probably be split into four, but it all goes together so I'm going to leave it together, sorrynotsorry. I have a lot of feelings, and it seems like a lot has happened in the last few weeks. And some backstory is necessary. The "tl;dr:" version? High-risk pregnancy MESSES WITH YOUR HEAD. 'Tis a roller coaster.