Saturday, August 27, 2005

Composers Joke

I found this one a while back in the Chorale folder on bubbs (Biola University Bulletin Board Service, for you non-Biolans out there). I don't know who the "blogger" is. Enjoy.

The Mozart Effect -- playing classical music to your children raises their IQ -- has been pretty well debunked:

A blogger considers, however, the effect of playing music by other composers to your child:

Liszt effect: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important.

Brahms effect: Child plagiarizes so forcefully that onlookers marvel at his learning, scholarship, and of course, force.

Bruckner effect: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.

Wagner effect: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.

Mahler effect: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that he's dying.

Verdi effect: Child continually screams.

Schoenberg effect: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.

Webern effect: Child.

Babbitt effect: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmates think he's cool.

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