Thursday, March 30, 2006


I’m not particularly afraid of physical pain. I’ve experienced it, and I don’t like it, but life goes on.

I am afraid of emotional pain. I don’t think as though I am – in fact, due to growing up in an environment where only the wounded receive attention, sometimes I almost feel I would welcome it (provided it were pain those around me could see). But in reality, I am always running from it. And hiding, and trying to squeeze it into a corner and kill it. Fortunately for the sake of my heart, I am by nature a fairly sensitive and emotional person and have had only a modicum of success. I get depressed, and I run from the pain by reading blogs, reading the newspaper,or watching TV; I do this instead of working, a practice John and I can’t exactly afford. So I wonder, if I stopped running from it, would I lose my fear, as with physical pain?

1 comment :

Rachel said...

Wow, great thought... yeah, I think if you stopped running from it you probably WOULD stop being afraid of it.

Now that I think about it I realize I've done just that at least a little. (Cool realization, by the way.)

As an added bonus, things you don't fear don't have much power over you. I think Dawn got it right when she said "Oooh, scary. Vampires. They die from SPLINTERS!" I fear evil less after hearing that quote. :)