Monday, August 04, 2008

I Miss You

John left this morning for a week with the church's high school group. I miss him already. I've missed him all day. I've tried to see the positive in this situation, make the best of it. I came up with a few things: I only have to worry about my own dishes (and they're so easy -- just rinse right after eating and put in the dishwasher), a little less laundry, I even get my own daily parking space. But then, while we're talking about the little things, there's no one to show me which of the sound menus, buttons and knobs I've missed, keeping World of Warcraft mute. I miss some of the things I didn't always like at the time -- the ways he keeps me sane, reminding me that it's long past my bedtime, or that, despite the fact that it's my day off, didn't I want to take a shower before the day was over? His desire to play World of Warcraft keeps me from playing it all day myself. And of course, I just plain miss him, and his presence. The other things are diversions, to keep me from thinking about that. I think the old thought, at first, that I may be an introvert, but I grew up in a big family and I like being around people, even if I don't actually want to interact with them. But then I amend the thought. I've been married three years now, and it isn't "people" I miss -- it's you.

Tonight when I got back from SLOBS I decided to take out a bit of trash and get the mail. Fine idea, except I grabbed only the mail key, not my other set of keys, and locked the door. First time for everything. Well, maybe I did lock myself out once when John was home. So never mind, it isn't ironic after all. Fortunately I know where the apartment manager lives (it's not really advertised...), so after my trash/mail errand I went and knocked at her door. She told me she'd do it this once, but that this isn't an emergency. Maybe not to her. Not the sort of emergency you call 911 for, no... which is why I didn't (that and my phone was locked in). But neither did I fancy the idea of sleeping out in the hall with the june bugs, my water bottle, the mail and the mail key. Or of waiting until the office opened and showing up late to work. When I got back into my apartment I actually cried. Stupid non-emergency.

I miss you. It's good though, for me to see how much. To not take you for granted. I hope much fun is had by all at camp. Come home safe.

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