Maybe what I have is the same thing. But that's not how I would describe it. That's just... woefully inadequate. The physical blank page or blank computer screen isn't that threatening. It's not a physical fear, it's the absence of ideas, or the twisting of ideas that are so like and unlike one's dreams, the blank story that is scary. It's much more like Fear of the Void than Fear of the Blank Page. A big, black, gaping nothingness that threatens to swallow us all. Or at least me, when I step out into it.
And maybe I have stepped out into it before, and supports appeared for my feet. Maybe I even grew confident enough to run laughing through the void, ground always appearing underneath me. Still, it doesn't matter. Every time I come back to the void it's stressful again, being asked to jump. And I might have to crawl from stepping stone to stepping stone, only to get stuck out in the middle of nowhere and crawl back. Poor story. Is it any wonder that when I'm stressed I write less?
20,747 for now this evening. Only 30,000 to go in 10 days! Piece of cake! Ikes.
I can do this. That's just 3000 a day. It's manageable. It is. Time to run laughing and skipping through the void, wind in my hair. I wonder if bikes are allowed out there? If so, do I need a helmet?