March Madness

Six posts in February, none at all in March, and none until now for April. Sorry. For once it isn't just my general inconsistency. "March Madness" has a whole new meaning now for me and for my family.

February 29th we received bad news, about which I will remain vague. Another first. I will not be "painfully honest" about this one.

Wait... saying that and linking to praise of my "excellent" writing for the Alzheimer's Competition is kind of a humble brag, isn't it? Though the bit about "sometimes painfully honest" made me wince? Um, sorry. But I'm leaving it in. Someday I'm going to write a post about why I write the honest painful stuff.

Back to the subject at hand. Of all the people in my husband John's immediate family, I'm the least affected, so it isn't mine to tell. But it was bad, and had Ramifications for the next month. And the rest of our lives, but, well, it all started last month. Last month was bad.

March 2nd John's mom and sister Beth flew out here, and Beth began sleeping some nights on our couch. We'd already been planning on having her live with us this summer, February 29th just moved it up. It's been good, having her around.

March 6th I had an appointment with my medical doctor about depression. I may tell my whole depression-but-not-exactly-clinical-depression story in another post, but for now I'll just say the doctor annoyed me, but did conclude after a questionnaire that I have mild to moderate depression, and gave me a referral to the psychiatry department covered by my insurance.

March 12th I found out I'm pregnant! Most of you already know that, but for any strangers who read my blog, if you care, I'm pregnant. (Okay, even if you don't care. I still am.) Don't worry, I probably won't be turning this into a mommy blog. I'm sure there will be occasional posts -- I've had more than one facebook status update about how WEIRD pregnancy is, and I'm pretty sure parenting just continues the weirdness. I'll want to write about it. But it won't be the only thing I write about. I'm pretty sure. Feel free to complain if it is.

But anywho, I concluded my weird sharp fast intense mood swings in February were probably hormone-related, just as I'd thought. Only because of pregnancy, not because of the last vestiges of adjustment from stopping birth control pills. Either way, take that, annoying doctor who had the nerve to claim depression can only be caused by problems with serotonin! ::sticks out tongue at doctor, does not say "ahh"::

I may write more about that, later, too. Probably still in the post about my sort-of-depression-but-not-really-clinical. I've got a rant inside me just waiting to come out.

March 13th, after telling my mom, I announced the pregnancy on facebook, with this picture:

 (I am not, however, announcing twins.) John announced it by asking, "what's a funny way of letting people know you're gonna have a baby?" With all the bad things going on, we wanted to tell people our good news right away.

The rest of the month sort of continued in a fog, with me spending ten or eleven hours in bed pretty much every night. Turns out you get really tired in early pregnancy. Everything I've read and all the mothers I've talked to have assured me this is very normal. It's better now, I'm down to... oh, about nine.

Which reminds me. To those to whom it might be relevant someday: earliest signs of pregnancy. Not necessarily morning sickness. This is important (okay, -ish), because there are things you're not supposed to do when pregnant, like take Advil. So. Pregnancy can feel JUST LIKE your period is about to start. With cramps. If you get very bad cramps, of course you'll want to practice preemptive pain management. That's the only way to avoid being incapacitated. Well, turns out that not only will you not want to after all, should you be pregnant (at least, not with Advil), but it probably isn't necessary. Since they're a different type of cramps, they don't follow the same patterns. It may feel exactly the same at the beginning, but it probably won't grow, may not even last very long. You may still need to change positions a bit -- they can get bad enough to wake you up at night, but I found that when I got up they normally went away immediately. Credited that to the Advil at first, but now that I know the cramps had a different cause, I don't think so.

Alright. Close TMI section. March 26th I had my prenatal registration thingy appointment that Kaiser does, mostly administrative, and found out later that day with the test results that my red blood cell count was low.

Also March 26th, I believe, Mom (John's mom) and Beth started helping us pack up our stuff. We would be moving from our one-bedroom apartment to a three-bedroom house a few blocks away. Renting. Beth living with us there.

March 30th was the first real prenatal appointment, and I saw my baby for the first time. Little tiny tiny baby! My official due date is November 9th, but based on his/her size in the ultrasound, they may change it later (after a second ultrasound, I guess) to November 15th. I started taking iron that night.

From that appointment I went to our new house and saw it for the first time.

March 31st was Moving Day! I did a little bit at first, moved a few small things to my car, washed some dishes... and then I crashed. Watched some of our volunteers' kids at the house, then just lay on the sofa. Later took my temperature and I had a real low fever, 99.6. Fun. But it went down. Since I was fighting a cold and feeling weird the fever didn't surprise me much, but it did freak me out a little. Higher fevers are dangerous for babies. Once it went down my freakage went down, though. I was very, very, very tired that day. So tired.

So that was March. Exciting, and, um... lots. I feel like I'm coming through the fog of exhaustion and change now, though, so I may be a little more present from here on out, for a while. Maybe.

Don't get me wrong, there have been joyful moments, too. For sure. Even in March. The baby and new house have been amazing, wonderful. I love my sis and mother-in-law, and spending time with them. I'm very, very grateful. Just... that's my super long explanation for my absence. Okay, and a bit of whining. Because.