Mundane, Sacred Invitations

I haven't finished telling you my PPD story, but I'm going to share this mental health tool anyway. This isn't the first tool I wanted to write about, this isn't how I'd outlined and planned it out, but God seems to be inviting me to share it now, so here it is.


I struggle with figuring out what realistic expectations are for myself, and goals that will push me without being delusional, goals that are relevant and appropriate to my life stage and responsibilities.

But I enjoy goal setting, and systems, and tracking things. I love playing around with it all, even though I'm not great at buckling down and actually getting stuff done.

Idealism is... sorta my middle name. To me, there are whole layers of realism. I can work real hard and cut things and make my schedule realistic... and then I realize it still isn't, I need to peel yet another layer off that onion.

So it was revolutionary to me when I was talking with a sister about this and she told me she's stopped asking what other people would consider a realistic expectation, to ask what God expects of her.

Huh. What is God expecting of me? What does He want me to do? This is so basic! Why haven't I been asking this all the time before?! Those aren't questions to just apply to the monumental decisions of life, but the little things, too. The decisions. What does He expect of me? ("But to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.")

A little later I listened to this episode of Out of the Ordinary. The title intrigued me, and I thought it might connect to the expectations thing, but I do like goals, like I said. Well, between the hosts' stories and my sister's comment about God's expectations, I was just about ready to burn it all down and start over! Fortunately, they were more gracious. They were quick to reassure us that you can still use goals if you like that language, just consider adding in listening for God's invitations occasionally, too.

That's essentially the gist of it. It's a "story about listening for invitations rather than setting goals," a story about surrendering control rather than taking charge and accomplishing all the things. Sometimes, the best changes in life happen this way; not planned, not things we even wanted for ourselves originally. Things God gently invited us into.

I am deep into the goal-setting mindset. I'm all about setting up a daily Big 3 to help meet a weekly Big 3 that help move you towards your quarterly goals.

After the conversation with my sister, I took my quarterly goals and started looking at them a little bit, asking if these were things God was expecting of me. Now I asked, God, what are you inviting me into next year? What are you expecting from me or inviting me into today, this week, this month, this season, this year?

I texted about the podcast with my sister and I kept mulling it over as I followed my normal routines, planning the next day, feeding my kids, so on. I tried to do a quickish examen in the evening, a supposed part of my routine that I haven't often done recently, and noted that God might be inviting me to go to bed on time and get up early, because when I get up late we're all cranky as we rush to get ready for school, and it's life-draining.

The least cranky of us all.

I barely made it into bed by the time I wanted, but then our kids kept waking us up for one thing or another, seemed like just about every hour. So I had lots of half-awake moments throughout the night, dwelling on what God might be inviting me to. (And when in the morning He might be inviting me to get up.)

Which is why, when my three-year-old coughed and coughed and then retched and threw up at around three in the morning, a thought that popped into my head was, "I guess maybe God is inviting me to clean up vomit."

And I did. (Though honestly, my husband did most of the work. As usual.)

The next day I listened to an episode of The Next Right Thing about not dreading your weird life.

"And maybe in the scheme of things, maybe in the scope of life this sounds so tiny. But I guess my point is this: If we don't start to bring our awareness to those tiny things every day that we are putting off and blowing over and sometimes blowing up about? Then we are not being honest about the actual things that God uses in our lives to form us into his likeness. Sometimes it’s the big things, but usually, it’s the daily things."

"These small delays are cluttering your soul and clouding your vision. So, let’s pause here together. Take a deep breath in, another one out. 

Would you be willing to invite Jesus into the chaos of your mind today? 

Bring him along through the cluttered shelves of your unfinished tasks as you walk through and look around the room and if you don’t know where to start, ask him. 

This is a worthy prayer. Nothing is too small. 

He knows you, your schedule, and your people. 

As you stand in the midst of the undecided, allow the present to be imperfect here. You do not have to figure it all out. But you are also not slave to dread. Jesus came even for this."

So yeah. Vomit is not something one can exactly put off doing much, nor is it even all that weird, for parents of littles (though I'd argue the thought "Maybe God is inviting me to clean up vomit" is), but it's dreaded, and actually rather smaller than we make it out to be. And God is in these small unpleasant tasks, too. Here we serve our children, we offer them cups of cold water in Jesus' name. #mynextrightthing

Then in the afternoon I read some more of Dance, Stand, Run in preparation for that night's book club/Bible study. These words about invitation fairly leaped off the page at me.

"There are a few different versions of the actual word calling used in the New Testament, and while the word calling isn't in this passage, I think the word that most relates to the Great Commission is: ...klesis, which means an invitation or a summons from God. This is an invitation into abundant mission that is extended to everyone, and this, friends, is the largest part of our calling that I believe we would like to gloss over and move past, or perhaps even discount ourselves from."

Okay God. Okay. So I'm invited today to make disciples of all nations? Lest I forget that "disciple" means "student," and the Great Commission is about so much more than altar calls, the author goes on to say,

"The thing is, making disciples right where you're at is often heavy, overwhelming work. Making disciples right where we're at, for some of us, will take so much time and energy, we might not have the margin for any 'extra callings' in the kingdom. Mothers, telling your children about the God who made them, who loves them and made a way for them, pointing them on the path to being disciples? Hard stuff. Loving your coworkers and friends and community members and walking the delicate path of ministering to them and keeping your soul intact at the same time? Not so easy. Being full present where God has placed you, spreading His fame and teaching His truth, and baptizing people as you go? This is ministry, this is mission, this is our calling, and it's nothing to gloss over."

I'm not saying that mothering is my only calling and I don't have time or energy for anything else. But I find it amazing how God speaks, telling me the same things over and over from one avenue or another, and then when I have a question about it, He answers.

I want to know what He expects of me, what He's inviting me into today, this week? Yes, these are good questions. Yes, ask them. Also, yes, probably cleaning up vomit is one of the things He's inviting me to do. At least during flu season.

And you know what? I'm glad. Hey, the hurling is going to happen anyway, whether I like it or not. But now, I can care for my daughter as though I were caring for Christ Himself, and I get to hear the voice of God, speaking to me in my life. Here, so close. Walking with me, loving me, taking the time, so to speak, to assure me that He sees, He knows, and this daily stuff is important to Him. Yes, it's basic, and it's a revelation. Thank You, Jesus.

Not to say I always remember this and I'm this wonderful loving patient angelic mother who never yells at her kids. Heavens, no. I wish. And PPD is still real and rage is still a symptom! I'm not trying to raise any standards or berate you, I'm trying to offer you a tool for your mental health, especially if you're depressed or grieving. So no pressure -- use it if it helps you, ignore it without guilt if it doesn't. Just consider starting a collection of mental health tools, and including invitations in that collection, as a gentle way of resetting your own expectations for yourself in whatever season you find yourself in.

She's pretty angelic. Even so, I'm still not.

Whether you enjoy goals or not, can you stop and listen for invitations?

Is there a small unpleasant task you're dreading that you can do as though doing it directly for Christ?

Do all expectations feel burdensome at the moment, does the thought of a simple task make you feel like you can't go on? Might God be inviting you to release some of these burdens?

What do you think God is inviting you into? Especially if you're depressed and/or grieving, it may be to something as small and huge as texting a friend to ask for help, un-signing up to bring a salad (I did it once at my therapist's urging, it might feel stupid, but I think it might actually be brilliant), or telling your OB you want to talk about antidepressants. It may simply be to do what you're already doing, but to view it as sacred work -- to hear your baby's cries as an invitation to feed her; if that's helpful to you.

"'For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' ... 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" -Matt. 25:35-36, 40 ESV

Whether it's this kind of day or the Other Kind.

Thanks be to God, and thank you Lisa-Jo Baker, Christie Purifoy, Emily Freeman, and Jess Connolly, for saying yes to His invitations in your podcasts and books.